Now that she's back in the atmosphere

. . . with drops of Jupiter in her hair hey hey . . .

Back at the end of March, I told the directors of my school that I was not planning to renew my contract with them. It was a tough decision since I'd been really happy at my school, but for a lot of reasons, I know I made the right choice. Because my school didn't announce to my students and their parents that I was leaving until mid-May, I didn't feel comfortable writing completely openly about it.

This spring I applied for two jobs back in northern Illinois . . . and waited and waited and waited. No response. I was slightly over-qualified for both positions and not really excited about either, so I wasn't too disappointed when I finally saw on one organization's website that the position had been filled and received a rejection email message from the other. At that point, I decided to look more carefully at what was available in Korea. My friend Jenny from high school came to visit for a week at the end of April just as I was responding to about 30 ads for teaching positions at universities in Seoul and Gyeonggi Province. She was patient enough to put up with me printing out my 15-page application packet well into the early hours of the morning after full days of sightseeing.

And then nothing. No interviews. No rejections. No response at all. So I bought my one-way ticket back to Chicago, started giving away my things and packing the rest, and started the long, terrible process of saying good-bye to the people and country I had come to love. I felt so conflicted. I was getting no responses from Korea, but I didn't see any possibilities on the horizon in Chicago. I felt this inevitable pull back to northern Illinois, where I so deeply wanted to spend time with my family, but I also wanted a stable, fulfilling job, friends, and things to capture my curiosity and imagination that I had in Korea. While I was looking forward to being with my family, I felt this indescribable sadness and discord to be leaving Korea.

I made my arrangements to leave Korea on June 5th and made a trip to the immigration office in Suwon to extend my visa that long. Then just a week before I was due to leave the country, I got calls for not one but three interviews. I was told by someone at the first interview that they had a good feeling about it. I was offered the second position on the spot, and I was unofficially offered the third position, though they had another week of interviews to go before they'd make a final decision. Just two days before my departure date, the first university called me back, offered me the position, and I accepted it.

That left me two days to find storage for my things, redirect my packing efforts, sign contracts, and start applying for my new visa, while still wrapping things up at my school and saying my final good-byes to my students. On my last day, T and H-k met me at my apartment and helped me move a few things over to the school where they're graciously letting me store them for the summer. Then we stopped by Joy's apartment so I could give her a few things, say good-bye, and drop T off at his apartment. It was so hard to say good-bye to T and Joy, friends who have become my family in Korea. It took all my strength to keep my composure and hold back my tears. I knew I'd see them again in August, but I also knew that an important part of my life had come to a close.

I had to keep fighting to hold back my tears as H-k drove me to the airport and as we ate lunch together after I checked my bags in. I wanted so much to thank her for the past two years, for giving me the opportunity to love Korea, but all I could do was eat my lunch and sniffle. I sent her an email message when I arrived back in the U.S. I gave her a hug and went through security, still struggling to keep my composure. Just as I was about to pass through, H-k called to me, "EM," she said, "you've made the right decision." Upon hearing that, all the emotions I'd bottled up through my good-byes to friends and students, the suspense of my job search, concerns for my family, everything came pouring out, and I cried all the way through security, through immigration, through the terminal, and onto my airplane. Since I didn't sleep at all my last two nights in Korea, amid sobs, I fell asleep while my plane was still at the gate in Seoul and woke up just minutes before we landed in Tokyo.

I had a 20-hour layover in Tokyo. I tried to get on an earlier flight on standby but wasn't able to, so the airline put me up in a hotel, and I was able to explore the little town outside the airport. While still overwhelmed by the emotions of leaving Korea and anticipating being home again, I enjoyed exploring a local shopping center, temple, and garden. I got so wrapped up in visiting the garden that I lost track of time and almost missed the bus that would get me back to the hotel to check out in time to catch another bus back to the airport for my flight. I had wandered so far through the garden that I was no longer sure exactly where I was, but I knew the approximate direction, so I just took off running and made it just as the bus was pulling up to the stop.

My flight from Tokyo to Chicago was uneventful. I had a window seat, and the sky was clear most of the way, but I was very disappointed that we didn't fly over Alaska this time. That is the highlight of any flight between North American and Asia for me, though Lake Winnipeg comes in a very close second. There is something so amazing, almost holy, about getting that perspective of the earth, and those particular geological features seem more majestic than others. Mom and Dad met me at the airport in Chicago. It was mid-morning, so we stopped at the Olive Garden for lunch on our way home.

My Korean friend J-y had been in Chicago for the past 10 months to study English, but she hadn't been out of the city and was about to return to Korea, so Mom and I took her to Galena for a few days. Just like having Jenny in Korea, having J-y in Galena was such a thrill as I got to be the host, instead of the guest, for a change. When we returned to Chicago, I said good-bye to J-y, knowing I'll see her again in Seoul in a couple months.

The past few weeks have been filled with family events, errands, doctor and dentist appointments, another trip to Galena to catch up with friends, and a trip to Philadelphia to see my uncle who is bravely battling cancer. My parents, sister, and I all spent a day in Chicago together to celebrate my parents' anniversary. We went to the top of the Sears Tower (the first time for me). Then Mom and Dad took the architectural tour of the city on the canal boat, and Sal and I wandered down to Millennium Park. Sal had to head back to the suburbs, but in the evening, Mom, Dad, and I went to see the play Jersey Boys. This weekend, my parents and I just spent a lovely 4th of July together before my dad heads back to Philadelphia for a few days.

My plans for the rest of the summer are to spend time with my family, help out around the house, reconnect with old friends, continue with some serious dental work to repair my nightmarishly root-canaled tooth, and if I ever get around to it, continue studying Korean. In mid-August, I'll head back to Korea to begin my new position teaching freshman English conversation at a university about 20 miles out of Seoul and not far from where I've lived for the past two years. (For more detailed information about my university and location, please send me an email.) I'll have to find a new apartment, collect all my things from my friends who so graciously offered me storage space for the summer, and figure out what exactly is required of my new position at the university. I'm excited but more than a little nervous.

Now I'm back in the blogosphere, and I hope to keep writing this summer, at least to recap some of the events of this spring and upload some of my pictures from both the Land of the Morning Calm and the Land of Lincoln.